The use of imagesadds that extra layer of depth and meaning. The set up is wonderful; just having to scroll down to the next image, builds the tension and raises anticipation. Being able to see the grain of the wood and the notepad tabs... it's just... wow.
I particularly liked that the handwriting on the envelope was different from the handwriting on the story pages. And the angst, the angst, beautiful but heartbreaking.
this is really beautiful. coming from a visual background and having a particular interest in image/text, i found this piece to be really striking and powerful in its simplicity.
the use of different tools -- the strike in the beginning when billy crosses out the words. the "carriage return" of a new piece of paper when he "starts fresh". makes us feel 'integrated' into the story, like we're reading billy's note to dom, but instead of seeing the actual words he has written, we're seeing in between the lines and how difficult the situation is. we become party to their interaction because our eyes move across handwritten pieces of paper the way billy's do when he writes, the way dom's will when he reads. it resonnates with certain personal sense memories we have as readers, and i think it gives the simple narrative so much more depth and power.
i'm not sure how purposeful you went about the visual presentation of the story, but either way, i find certain touches really enhance the experience over all. the dark color of the wood, illuminated in the same spot in every image with a soft, yellow, warm light. the two deeply gouged scratches in the table top which juxtapose the kilter of the envelope and then run down along the side of the last few images. the last page being particularly creased, recalling the image in the text of the old envelope.
all in all, i found myself go "oh" very softly as i started reading it and "oh" again once i was done.
a really interesting and successful execution. evocative.
fandom never ceases to amaze me in all the neat ways it can branch out, fill in, do the unexpected. this was a fabulous reminder of all of that.
i found my way here through the rec of untitled06 and must agree wholeheartedly with her comments above, especially the "oh" as the first image came up. the anticipation triggered by that first image is not unwarranted; the story completely and wonderfully delivers with the visual continuity and the ache of the narrative task. i love both the unexpected image of the envelope and the sting of the closing lines.
Oh Ella... that is inspiring. What a creative and intense way of showing a fic. I can't say it more elegantly than that; everyone who has already responded did a better job (*points to untitled06's response*)
I read it once, then took a moment to process it before scrolling back up and reading it a second time. The second time got to me; it made me cry a little.
And for some odd reason, I wanted to see a picture of that envelope again, but closed up and with a key next to it, as the "closing shot". But that's just me.
This was extremely unique and sad and touching, thank you.
So lovely. So beautiful, with the warm glow of the light on the wood, and the cool tones of the paper and ink. And the way you've laid the words out is very effective. So simple, so perfect. I really love this.
Huh. Guess a few words escaped the drought, after all. *adores*
Found this through rodneyscat and I'm so glad she recced it! What an original way to present a fic.. and so beautiful in its simplicity. That ending hurt my heart.
oh, gorgeous! i keep rereading :) and i disagree molly, sorry :) that as a final image would be too . .definite, maybe. too neat of a line. the sting & tension of the ending comes in the ragged edges & the hovering unfinished, the desperate hope that the story could still go either way.
I was feeling the same way... that it could go either way. Maybe that's just my desperate self always needing a scrap of hope to go on, but... yeah.
This is so poignant and rich. I wouldn't have guessed it could be so effective, what you did. And yet... I'm quite torn up by it, and I don't think the image of these pages will fade from my mind anytime soon. So beautifully done.
I love how you did this, so clever. The visual approach fits in so well with the words, making the tone so fragmented, mirroring Billy's almost resigned despair. I especially love the envelope -- somehow I don't think this would have had half the impact without it.
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October 13 2003, 16:49:36 UTC 8 years ago
ouch
October 13 2003, 16:56:51 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 16:58:54 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 17:02:00 UTC 8 years ago
The use of imagesadds that extra layer of depth and meaning. The set up is wonderful; just having to scroll down to the next image, builds the tension and raises anticipation. Being able to see the grain of the wood and the notepad tabs... it's just... wow.
*wishes she'd thought to do this*
Fabulous.
*Runs off to pimp this to everyone she can*
In case you were wondering,
October 13 2003, 17:19:01 UTC 8 years ago
I particularly liked that the handwriting on the envelope was different from the handwriting on the story pages. And the angst, the angst, beautiful but heartbreaking.
October 13 2003, 17:25:32 UTC 8 years ago
the use of different tools -- the strike in the beginning when billy crosses out the words. the "carriage return" of a new piece of paper when he "starts fresh". makes us feel 'integrated' into the story, like we're reading billy's note to dom, but instead of seeing the actual words he has written, we're seeing in between the lines and how difficult the situation is. we become party to their interaction because our eyes move across handwritten pieces of paper the way billy's do when he writes, the way dom's will when he reads. it resonnates with certain personal sense memories we have as readers, and i think it gives the simple narrative so much more depth and power.
i'm not sure how purposeful you went about the visual presentation of the story, but either way, i find certain touches really enhance the experience over all. the dark color of the wood, illuminated in the same spot in every image with a soft, yellow, warm light. the two deeply gouged scratches in the table top which juxtapose the kilter of the envelope and then run down along the side of the last few images. the last page being particularly creased, recalling the image in the text of the old envelope.
all in all, i found myself go "oh" very softly as i started reading it and "oh" again once i was done.
a really interesting and successful execution. evocative.
thank you thank you for writing it.
October 13 2003, 17:44:34 UTC 8 years ago
i found my way here through the rec of
just.
wow.
:::recs:::
October 13 2003, 17:44:47 UTC 8 years ago
I read it once, then took a moment to process it before scrolling back up and reading it a second time. The second time got to me; it made me cry a little.
And for some odd reason, I wanted to see a picture of that envelope again, but closed up and with a key next to it, as the "closing shot". But that's just me.
This was extremely unique and sad and touching, thank you.
October 13 2003, 17:58:39 UTC 8 years ago
This feels somehow... intimate... almost voyeuristic.
Very close, touching and it hurts. Huh, it made me cry a little.
I hope it's ok if I link to it?
October 13 2003, 18:08:16 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 18:09:42 UTC 8 years ago
So lovely. So beautiful, with the warm glow of the light on the wood, and the cool tones of the paper and ink. And the way you've laid the words out is very effective. So simple, so perfect. I really love this.
Huh. Guess a few words escaped the drought, after all. *adores*
October 13 2003, 18:18:29 UTC 8 years ago
Ow.
:blinks:
That made my heart go clench. Such a fantastic idea. And a fantastic story to go with it.
October 13 2003, 18:20:35 UTC 8 years ago
Just.. wow.
October 13 2003, 18:32:03 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 18:40:00 UTC 8 years ago
erm. i think, anyway.
October 13 2003, 19:37:30 UTC 8 years ago
This is so poignant and rich. I wouldn't have guessed it could be so effective, what you did. And yet... I'm quite torn up by it, and I don't think the image of these pages will fade from my mind anytime soon. So beautifully done.
October 13 2003, 18:52:12 UTC 8 years ago
That was, wow.
Simplicity at it's most devastating.
You never fail to completely amaze me. Ever.
October 13 2003, 18:52:53 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 19:03:32 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 19:11:10 UTC 8 years ago
Hello, gorgeous!
October 13 2003, 20:23:23 UTC 8 years ago
-uses silly!Dom icon-
Goodness, such an original idea. The actual written pages make it far more personal, more poignant. This is really so lovely.Makes my heart hurt. -wibbles-
October 13 2003, 21:34:00 UTC 8 years ago
Aaaaaaaaaaiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Very clever job here. I loved it...except that last biz...sniff...
October 13 2003, 21:40:02 UTC 8 years ago
October 13 2003, 22:36:16 UTC 8 years ago
So creative and so. Ow. Beautiful in an absolutely depressing sort of way.
October 13 2003, 23:52:03 UTC 8 years ago
October 14 2003, 00:03:04 UTC 8 years ago
October 14 2003, 01:06:52 UTC 8 years ago
wow. that...ouch.
that was incredibly creative and poignant and...just...beautiful. wow.
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